Practicing the Pause

Practicing the Pause is one of my favorite self-care techniques.

It gives me time to think. It gives me the opportunity to reflect on the choice I am about to make. It allows me to feel into my options and it provides the space I need to respond in a more authentic way.

It is simple. It is intentional. It is self-honoring.

Practicing the Pause is a pattern interrupter

This simple practice interrupts old, unconscious ways of reacting and responding. For example,

Do you often say yes or agree to things that you later regret?

Do you spend money on people, things or experiences without considering how your purchase will effect you financially?

Do you participate in negative future fantasies or let overwhelm sidetrack you?

If so, practicing the pause will be a powerful tool for you too! It will interrupt your habitual reactions and responses and allow you to choose differently.

When we give ourselves time and space to consider our response or reaction - before we react or respond - it allows us to respond more authentically.

Practicing the pause allows us to be more mindful. It supports us in making better decisions. It gives us an opportunity to check-in and notice how our choices feel. It empowers us to make choices that are aligned with our values.

How to Practice the Pause

Example #1

If someone has asked you to do something and you’re not sure if you have the time or money or desire to do so, take a breath and intentionally PAUSE before you respond. Say “let me get back to you” or “I need to think about this” or come up with a neutral response that feels right for you and the situation.

When could you use this tool? What neutral response resonates with you?

Example #2

If you are out shopping and you want to buy something you don’t need with money you don’t have, PAUSE, take a few breaths and reflect on your goals. Ask yourself “is this purchase more important than paying off the debt that causes me stress, or the vacation, car, or home improvement that I am saving for?” Remind yourself that you have a plan and this purchase will set you back and delay your progress. And probably make you feel bad.

Create your own question and insert your personal goals. Identify when you might use it.

Example #3

If you feel overwhelmed about everything you have to do, take a deep breath and drop your awareness into your body as you exhale. If you can, close your eyes and take a few slower, deeper breaths, allowing yourself to relax a little more with each exhale. This will help calm your nervous system and allow you to be more present to your thoughts and emotions. When you feel ready, consider your situation. Get clear about your options. Then reflect on each option, one at a time, and notice how it feels. One of your choices will feel better than the others.

You can also ask yourself “which thing has the highest priority?” or “is there one thing I can do that will make everything else easier?” And then feel into those responses as well.

We always have a choice about how and when we respond.

We just need to give ourselves the time and space to do so. Pausing, reflecting, responding in more authentic ways is empowering! And that feeling reinforces our ability to take care of ourselves; to align our choices with our vision and values; to create new, supportive patterns that serve us.